Saturday, July 13, 2019

If Magical McGuffins Were Realistic


Old Wizard: They are powerful magical artifacts which can be used to accomplish great things. But in the wrong hands they spell disaster.

Hero: What is the nature of their power?

OW: They grant their welders godlike power over the world, the power to threaten even gods into obeying your command, lest they face annihilation. They do this by threatening to turn entire cities to less than ashes in the blink of an eye, cursing the land so nothing can be built on it again for hundreds of years! Such a threat can sway the hearts and minds of Men far more efficaciously than any ordinary spell or potion. And in the wrong hands, it is not merely a threat.

Hero: That sounds evil. We should destroy these artifacts!

OW: But wouldn't you like to have the power to make gods obey you? You could enforce great changes for the betterment of mortalkind."

Hero: See no evil hear no evil speak no evil.

OW: Also, there aren't just seven of these artifacts, there are tens of thousands of them. And if you dont have any, other kingdoms will bully you into doing whatever they say.

Hero: Fine, where can I get one of these things?

OW: You can build one yourself if you have the right materials and the right equipment.

Hero: I see, so this is a quest?

OW: No! You must not. It is forbidden! One of the darkest arts.

Hero: Forbidden by who?

OW: By the kingdoms who own the most of these artifacts.

Hero: But I'm not part of their kingdoms! Their law doesnt apply to me!

OW: Yes it does! Do you want to be annihilated by their godlike powers!?

Hero: ...No.
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MacGuffin