Your Loneliness Isn't Your Fault (Take 2)

Your loneliness isn't your fault. You are not ugly, you are not a bad person and you are not "undatable". If you actually look at all the people who are complaining about their lack of a love life, and compare to the ones who are in loving relationships, you will realize that there is often no pattern, no rhyme or reason for why some people have it and others don't.

The problem isn't just that you in particular can't find love, it's also that those who would love you if they knew you can't find you. Because without the community infrastructure, the social connections and networks to point us in the right direction and help narrow the search, we're all looking for a needle in a haystack!

For the most part that infrastructure just doesn't exist right now. In its place we have dating apps, which are terrible at helping people find compatible matches because they're software and not human beings. The software doesn't understand human beings well enough to understand what we need out of our relationships and who we would enjoy and fit with best.

You deserve to be loved, and there are many compatible people out there who you could find happiness with if only you could find each other. But right now whether you find each other or not is dependent on an unfair lottery. The odds of your finding each other are often very slim. Improving yourself, your appearance or the way you interact with others may have very little impact on those odds if at all.

We need to bring back human matchmaking. Fill out this quiz and share your answers with a trusted friend or community member. Have them recommend people to date or others who can give you recommendations.

Please share this message and the quiz with all your friends. We can make the world a more loving place.

Thank you.

Your Loneliness Isn't Your Fault

You are not ugly. You are not a bad person. Your loneliness isn't your fault. We all just need to get better at finding and connecting with each other. And when I say "we all" I mean our whole civilization--this is a systemic problem.

It's not your individual flaws that keep you isolated. The community infrastructure just isn't there. Human matchmaking has mostly died out in the modern era, and computer programs usually don't understand people well enough to make decent recommendations for potential dates. And as for finding communities or relationships of the non-romantic kind, there aren't any apps for that let alone human specialists.

This is a civilization-wide problem, and the only way to fix it is to build the infrastructure, to forge connections between different communities and expand our social networks so that we humans ourselves can be the matchmakers we need.

Also, fixing this problem will go a long way towards getting humankind to work together better on solving other important problems, including ones that threaten humanity's very existence like global warming and excessive automation. After all, when people are better connected to each other they also are better at working together.

We can do this. We got this.

The Love Quiz: an Essential Tool for Human Matchmaking